Did you know that one in three adults who have combined their money in a relationship admit to committing financial infidelity against their partner? Talking about – and being honest about – money is one of the major challenges in almost any relationship. And yet, avoiding the subject or lying about money to each other can negatively impact your partnership or marriage. In fact, 76% of people say that deceiving their partner about finances has affected the relationship.
Is money hard to discuss in your relationship? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone. “Lots of people have trouble talking to their spouse about money,” says finance expert Carl Richards, “It’s hard for everybody, because nobody taught us.” With practice though, you and your partner can become skilled at discussing your finances. And taking a few simple steps in this direction can have a major, positive impact on your relationship moving forward.
Let’s take a look at five, simple methods for speaking frankly about money.
Plan a Money Date
Set aside a place where you and your partner can chat about finances. Find a place that’s not one of your favorite haunts, and that’s outside your normal routine.
Schedule regular, weekly dates to chat. Having a predictable time will give you the chance to develop your skills, and will take off some of the pressure felt when money conversations come up unplanned or irregularly.
Leave Blame Outside
Approach your conversation without judgement, and agree to come to your discussion without blame or fingerpointing. Remember that this is simply a time to gather and share information.
Take a Time Out
If you feel yourself becoming heated or escalating, agree that either party can take a break – go for a walk, have a snack, read a book to unwind. Come back to your discussion when you’re both feeling rejuvenated.
Keep it in a Drawer
Instead of opening your bills when you’re tired, hungry, or stressed; keep them in a drawer where you can choose to open them when you have time and energy.
Challenge yourself to be more open, honest, and frank about your finances with your partner. Remember that it takes time and care to become comfortable discussing money.
Talking About Money Takes Practice: Starting Today Will Change Your Life.
“This isn’t about judging each other,” says Manisha Thakor, founder of MoneyZen, “It’s about loving and trusting each other enough to get financially naked.”
Trust takes time to develop when it comes to talking about money. Sometimes, it’s hard to be intimate about finances – even with our life partners. By simply developing your awareness and making a conscious choice to discuss money more openly and frequently – you and your partner can enter a new stage of your relationship.
Looking for a helping hand with your finances? Give our friendly, Lumina team a call. We’re eager to help you make smart decisions that benefit you – both now and in the future.